Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Cast of Deep Throat

The flying black sausage is back! The blog came to a bit of a natural halt when I hit the big 4-0 but, if I’m truly honest being a lazy git has an awful lot to do with it! My first few months of being 40 seem to have slipped by unnoticed, and I seem to have hit the pause button on my ambitions and interests. In fact the only hobby that seems to be unaffected by my turning 40, is my appreciation of a good pint, or two. Even my cycling has suffered, and the lack of cycling combined with the occasion ale on the way home from work, means I’m presently more of a lumbering family size pack of hot dogs, than a flying sausage. But I intend in getting back in the saddle, literally, next week, by cycling to work again, and have even (hangover permitting) promised my better half that I will go with her to a spin class next Saturday morning. So I’ll be a static family size pack of hot dogs, drenched in my own beer laden sweat, red faced, and sounding like punctured bagpipes, ah, I paint a pretty picture, easy ladies, there’s more than enough to go round….   

I have managed to do some of the turning 40 targets, I made it to Glastonbury, which was fantastic, and I will tell you more about that at later date. I have a season ticket for the Harlequins rugby (although if I’m honest that has more to do with the beer and social aspects than the sport itself), and I am seeing a lot more of my family, celebrating my mother’s 60th which saw all the family get together. My mum is an identical twin and it was as freaking as it was heart warming to see them both cutting their birthday cake together.

But for the most part, I have been quietly (or not so quietly my girlfriend would say) considering my life, and the changes to it now I have reached 40.

I’ve had to buy a ear and nose hair trimmer, you know the phrase, you have spiders legs hanging out of your nostril, well I appear to have a 1970’s porn stars muff hair hanging from mine. I have been told that what is even more amusing than me having to buy a trimmer, is how long it took me to pick the one I wanted, standing in Boots, Remington in one hand Phillips in the other (back to 70’s porn there) deciding which had the best attachments, this also involved a price comparison between Boots and Argos, with the Phillips winning, by a nose (ho, ho!). When paying at the check out, I considered saying “Not for me of course, gift for my granddad” by seeing as I had the cast of Deep Throat hanging out my nose, and sticking out my ears, I realized this would be folly.

I recently went to a 90th birthday party, which was wonderful, and life affirming, although there was a guy standing at the bar, in black robes, who got very excited every time one of the elderly guests coughed….. I got chatting to one 94 year old lady, who could have given Father Christmas a run for his money in the beard stakes, who was hilarious, sharp as a tack, and made me think that maybe getting older isn’t so bad after all….although I wouldn’t put money on me reaching my 90’s!